5 minutes, I part my lips for the untold apologies to come out; that stay in between my teeth which I couldn’t chew properly at the dinner table. The rotten apologies which I couldn’t clean and now it’s too late for the dentist appointment. The apologies that hide on the roof of my mouth because they are too afraid of light.
4 minutes, I want to paint a portrait of yours and burn you away but I’m not an artist unfortunately. My fingers only dip themselves in letters so I dip my fingers at the back of my mind where lies all the poems that I wrote for you, every letter iced with yearning. I put my fingers in the mouth and swallow them.
3 minutes, I split my head open and cut the strings attached to the surface of my brain; removing the puppet masters my abusers left.
1.58 am _
2 minutes, I blow the petals of the flowers I pluck every time I don’t think about you and ate the garden of flowers (I grew every time I thought of you). So keep the windows open, let the wind in; they’ve been closed for years now.
1 minute, I rest for 60 seconds, compress all the days and bury it in a new grave. For I do this every night (Ecdysis).
I forgive myself. I forgive myself in pieces every day and every night I give birth to a new life.
I am a student currently doing my Masters in Biotechnology from Bangalore. I let my pen speak but mostly am quiet.