The sun is always setting
and the moon already risen
by the time I am here.
In the comfiest loft
I have ever seen.
Through the orange lit windows
I see fields and trees
bathed in gold,
bathed in a beauty
I have travelled miles in my mind
to behold.
The cushions are squishy
and the couch is firm.
An equilibrium of comfortable
only this woman and her distance
and her closeness can create.
She holds my heart in one hand
and a notepad in the other.
Sometimes she alternates between
heart and coffee.
She allows me to breathe.
Catch the oxygen
the tears push from my lungs
and into the cold fireplace.
There is space here.
I can touch it
and I can exist in it.
I can shrink in it
and I can nurse hope
and fear within it.
I fear too much.
I fear this fear
will keep me
from being bold.
I fear her words
will weigh more than his
and mine and the love
we’ve shared
in such a short space of time.
I fear our discoveries
will tarnish old memories
so they taste like wine
on the lips of a child.
I fear golden light
and the stars at night
are not enough to save me.
I fear I must get lost
in order to be found
but I’ve never been good
at reading maps
or trusting others enough
to let them hold my hand.
I fear I am not enough
to save the girl who always was.
© Kristiana Reed 2018
Kristiana Reed day dreams, people watches in coffee shops, teaches English and writes. She is President of FVR Publishing, a curator on Blood into Ink, a collective member of The Whisper and the Roar & Sudden Denouement, and blogs at My Screaming Twenties. She does the day to day running of Free Verse Revolution.
I know I’ve followed this blog many times before and yet it doesn’t show up. Sigh. Anyway, that said, I really loved this one.
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Thank you Sarah ❤ sorry it's being funny!
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No worries. I’ll just keep adding it back if it keeps happening. 🤣
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Reblogged this on My Screaming Twenties and commented:
My debut piece on Free Verse Revolution.
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Reblogged this on A Global Divergent Literary Collective.
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Thank you 💛
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Beautifully expresses the fear of losing our own self.
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Thank you ☺️
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Gorgeous and haunting
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Thank you so much ☺️
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Reblogged this on Brave & Reckless and commented:
Kristiana Reed writes beautifully haunting poetry
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