Never wanted to identify with your grand designs. There was a line we knew better to cross, but we were lost and rebellion ‘s the trademark of wayward hearts, all terrible costs aside.
Never wanted to admit you gone; to long for your presence and lament you, hear your swan song on the long ride home.
Never wanted to know,
no, never wanted
so young felt
helpless, so numb, and though we loved you like the day you got away from us like every successive one.
Never wanted seven years to pass without your phone call or laugh, however severed from the math of living.
But perhaps most ribbing is
I never wanted to relate, contemplate whether you were ahead of the curve, while I was left with my words and the whispers they accommodate.
How I miss you so.